November 12, 2009

The Engineer and the Sentimentalist

So - The Actor and the Housewife. Have you read it? Are you going to? I only gave it two stars on Goodreads, but boy has this one given me a lot to think about this week.

A friend of mine said the book made her uncomfortable because it would make her husband uncomfortable. She also said that I probably wouldn't have that same issue. Hmm - consternation. My own hubby doesn't seem to have a jealous bone, but do I give that enough consideration? Do I give him cause to be uncomfortable?

I think my man is one of the best. Another friend described him as a huggable, teddy bear-type, and she nailed it. She said that as she gets to know him a little better, she will be hugging him. I love that. I enjoy hugging him often.

I have always had a few, really good, male friends. Growing up it was Shawn Stewart and Mike Verville. High school - Philip Walstad and Christian Faulconer. I met Matt my freshman year at Utah State. Kyle came on scene early sophomore year. I did a good bit of dating, but I don't remember spending more time with anyone than Matt & Kyle.

Matt & Kyle made up all sorts of names for the guys I dated, but they never could come up with one for Jon. We'd gone to Seattle for an ASCE convention in February 1993. Jon was picking me up at the airport. Our plane landed in SLC at about 11:30 pm on Valentine's Day. Matt & Kyle hurried to get off the plane before me, and they were stalling me in the tunnel leading up to the gate. I happened to look up, and Jon was standing there patiently with a rose. He proposed on the way back to Logan.

June 1993. Matt & Kyle were graduating. I was getting married in a month. Matt was going to Seattle to do his masters at UW. Kyle was staying to do his Masters at Utah State. Jon & I would be living in Logan while I finished up my undergrad.

My apartment was packed, and my car loaded. I'd gone over to Kyle's while he was packing up his house. Matt was there. I remember Matt all of a sudden saying that he had to go. He gave me a big hug and walked out the door, got in his truck, and waved. I stood there watching him drive away, thinking that I may never see him again. Shortly afterward I hugged Kyle and left myself. I cried the entire way to Salt Lake. I remember being so frustrated with my future MIL because she didn't understand how I could cry over these two guys when I was going to marry her son.

Kyle brought a girl named Kim to my wedding receoption. My MIL drove me to the airport when I flew to Seattle for Matt's wedding (he found Kathy at UW - they had an incredible romance that Matt shared in various emails). I was pregnant with Evan when a kilt-wearing Kyle & Marion were hitched (he went all the way to the UK to find her). Both of them have two kids that I've never met but get to see in Christmas cards.

I like to think that I had as much of an impact on Matt and Kyle as they have had on me. But, there is still another man that I chose over them. He is the one I created a home with, the one who I created our 3 boys with, the one who makes me laugh every day, and the only one that I miss when we're apart for long weekends.

So - Becky Jack - I completely understand why you couldn't choose Felix. He just isn't Mike.

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