April 02, 2010

Frustrated with Frances

A friend of mine (OK - more of an acquaintance. She married a guy who was once a very good friend, so I adopted her - I don't know that she knows that... I got to sit next to her at my 20 year high school reunion, but she texted her next door neighbor most of the night... Doesn't bode well for our friendship, eh?) posted her March 2010 books today. One of them was A Bargain for Frances.

Can I just tell you that Frances is one of the most frustrating characters to make my acquaintance?!

When I was in 1st grade - can you see me? How about the kid to my left - that's Bart Cloward. I don't remember why, but I did not like Bart. I think you can tell that from my body language - see how I'm trying to lean away from him? Wouldn't you be so mad if your kid was the one turned around in the front row?! - we had a reading contest. We had caterpillars that were pinned to the cork strip at the top-of-the-chalk-board level all the way around the room. We got to lick & stick a star for each book that we read. Mrs. Brady said that whoever read the most books would win a prize.

Did you hear that?! A P-R-I-Z-E!!!!

At this point you know (if you know me very well at all - or did at the time this story happened) that there was never a doubt in my mind who was going to read the most books in my class. I'm fairly certain that I had a 4-5 caterpillar chain just to hold all of my lick & sticks.

So the day came when the winner was announced. Of course it was me, but this is where my story went horribly wrong.

When Mrs. Brady said there would be a prize, I knew that I would be the lucky recipient of an Easy Bake Oven. (Don't ask, that's just how my mind worked.)  I eventually went to the front of the room after I'm sure I harassed poor Mrs. Brady until she could stand it no longer. I was anticipating the weight of that box being placed in my arms. I remember walking over to the reading area with her - upset that more of the class wasn't paying attention. She flipped a flimsy paper back into my hands.

That's right folks


Certainly not an Easy Bake. And certainly not a book that I have ever read.

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